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she’s not ok


Sorry if I wasn’t able to visit your blog for days now, I’ve been very busy in school. prelim exams, gawd it really wasn’t easy. I don’t know, I’ve been studying very hard, but still during the examination day, there were still unanswered items. Plus another frustrating news. I missed my “philosophy” exam. Why? Here goes the story.

Just a while ago. Well, actually around 3pm. I was getting ready fro school and for the exam. I was carrying my son Faris at that time, but suddenly I felt dizzy, so I put him on the crib. After a minute I thought I was ok. I got my bag, kissed my sin goodbye and went outside the house. I was about to cross the street when my vision started to get blurry. Ate Jacky (friend of ours) noticed me, so she approached me and said that I looked so pale and my lips were close to color white. Oh my! She immediately assisted me back home. Then suddenly, I felt very cold, so cold and feels like there was a very sharp noise in my ear.

After five or six minutes, the worst started. I began to have difficulties in breathing. My chest was like being crushed and torn apart. I was freezing cold. Then my fingers started to get numb and stiff. Feels like my hands didn’t exist and I cant even feel anything on this. They checked my BP, I wasn’t able to get the count but, one thing’s for sure, it wasn’t normal. After 15 minutes of catching my breath and trying hard to gasp some air, I was starting to move my fingers back again slowly. They said I should not force myself moving it, so I just drop myself on my bed and slept.

I’m ok now, actually I just finished studying. That had happened to me 4 or 5 times now, from May up to July. I feel so weak and so down for this past days. So many problems to think, less solutions found. Life has become more and more confusing for me now. Feels like everything and everyone changed and so against me. So hard to understand, so hard to think, why?

I’m so sad, tired, and hurt. That’s enough post for now. I want to sleep, have a very deep sleep. But sleep for me now is so expensive; I guess I’ll never have a sleep tight.

Catch my comments on you blogs later on. :)


This entry was posted by freyah on Jul 19, 2008 under , , , , , , ,

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